I'm Tired

Blogs are supposed to be uplifting.  Especially in the Christian community, we use blogs to promote our ministries, proclaim our message, maybe even brag a little.  Not this one.  I just don't have it in me.  I'm just too tired.

I'm tired of pretending everything is going good.
I'm tired of painting on a smile.
I'm tired of being lonely, with no one to talk to.
I'm tired of my family's sacrifice.
I'm tired of waiting for a breakthrough.
I'm tired of people asking me how things are going, when most really don't want to know the truth about how things are going..
I'm tired of giving rehearsed responses to rehearsed questions.
I'm tired of being in a bad mood.
I'm tired of snapping at my wife, when it's not her fault.
I'm tired of being expected to give when I have nothing left.
I'm tired of trying to lead when I don't know where I'm going.
I'm tired of not living up to other's expectations.
I'm tired of not living up to my own expectations.
I'm tired of sowing and no reaping.

I'm tired. 
Period. 
Maybe I need a nap.
If I could just find a juniper tree... 

Being Missional

It seems the catchphrase in church today is the word “missional.”  Every healthy church wants to be “on mission,” but what does being missional look like?  Wellspring Church, from its inception has desired to be missional. We wanted to be “on mission.”  We wanted missions to not only be a part of what we do, but to be the motivation for everything we do.

A dear friend of mine said that as a church plant we should "build in at the beginning what we want to see at the end."  I believe this principle is important for any church, but especially for a new church plant.  For example, we wanted Wellspring Church to be a church of obedient givers.  So, we built giving into the very first meetings that Wellspring had.  We have recently begun small group Bible studies, because discipleship is a priority. But how does a church get “on mission?”  How do we become a missional church?  

I think the answer is simpler than we think.  I believe “being missional” simply means allowing missions to permeate every area of church life. One of the ways we do that is by giving. Wellspring Church began giving to the Cooperative Program and Black River Baptist Association after our first offering.  “Why?” you may ask. Shouldn't a new church plant be a recipient of missions instead of a giver?  It's true that Wellspring Church receives support from partner churches, ABSC, and our local association.  But the principle of “building in at the beginning what we want to see at the end” motivated us to begin giving back as well.  And, while our gifts aren’t as large as some churches, we know God doesn't judge individuals or churches on the size of their gifts, but rather their faithfulness.   And 10% of a dollar is a dime, no matter how many dollars you may have!

But there's more to being missional than giving. Unfortunately, most churches stop here. But as Christians, we're not only called to give:  we're also called to go. And going is not something you can delegate. The “y'all come” mentality is both unbiblical and unproductive. Yet that is the model that we see most often displayed. We build nice buildings, put out the “welcome mat,” and expect to win the world for Christ. The results, however, show minimal success.

Acts 1:8 reminds us that by the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus expects His church to be “witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” This passage motivated Wellspring Church to plan a mission trip to Haiti in May. We have no missions budget. We have no vast resources. But we have a Great Commission and we serve a great God.  That's motivation enough.  We also have a group from Texas that's coming to Walnut Ridge in April to partner with us in reaching our community. Please pray for us in both these endeavors as we strive to be a God-pleasing, missional church.          

Life Is a Test

Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life tells us "life is a test, life is a trust, and life is a temporary assignment."  Connor and I had the privilege of being reminded of this today - especially the part about a test and a trust.  After picking Connor up from school, we stopped by the Walnut Ridge Wal-Mart.  I needed a backpack for my new college adventure.  (More on that at a later date.)  As we were leaving, I noticed a bank envelope lying on the parking lot - you know - the kind they give you when you cash a check or make a deposit.


It had been run over several times.  It looked all grimy and tattered.  So I kicked it with my shoe, and said over my shoulder to Connor, "Might want to pick that up.  See what's in it."  I expected it to be empty, or at best, have someone's deposit ticket inside.  Nope.  Inside the envelope, Connor discovered four twenty's, a ten, a five, a one, and two pennies:  $96.02.


Here's where the TEST comes in.  Connor has been saving money for the last month or so for an Xbox 360.  He's been sticking back money he got for Christmas, and the $10 a week he gets for helping his Mom with the dishes.  He spent his two "snow days" this week scanning ebay, looking for the "deal of the century" on an Xbox.  And an extra $96.02 makes the dream of an Xbox several steps closer to becoming a reality.

Inside the envelope, along with the cash, was a deposit slip.  I said, "Son, the folks at the bank might be able to identify the person who lost this money with that deposit slip.  What do you think?"  And my son passed one of life's tests.  He responded, "If I had lost $96.02, I'd sure want someone to try and get it back to me."

I was right.  The bank teller was able to look back through that day's transactions and match the money with its rightful owner.  And, I hope the person who lost it takes time to thank God for its return.  Maybe it will help put food on their table, or buy gas to get to work, or buy medicine for a sick child.  Hopefully some of it will end up in a church offering plate, where it can continue to be a blessing to the Kingdom.  But it may go to buy booze, or cigarettes, or drugs.  It may be wasted on lottery tickets or junk food.  It may provide help through a tough winter, or provide the means to help destroy a person's life.  Only God knows.

But that's not mine or Connor's problem.  Tonight we will rest with a clear conscience.  We passed the test - at least this time.  And life is filled with them.  But one right decision equips and enables a person to make another right decision.  I'm proud of a son who, like his dad, no doubt struggled inwardly - if only for a mili-second - with what to do.  The temptation was real.  No one was looking.  It was cold, hard, untraceable CASH.  And $96 looks like $960 when you're thirteen!

But Proverbs 13:11 says, "Money that is gained in the wrong way disappears.  But money that is gathered little by little grows."  Sounds like God has a plan that works.  Xbox or not, Connor and I are doing it His way.