Friday, August 26, 2011

I'm Tired

Blogs are supposed to be uplifting.  Especially in the Christian community, we use blogs to promote our ministries, proclaim our message, maybe even brag a little.  Not this one.  I just don't have it in me.  I'm just too tired.

I'm tired of pretending everything is going good.
I'm tired of painting on a smile.
I'm tired of being lonely, with no one to talk to.
I'm tired of my family's sacrifice.
I'm tired of waiting for a breakthrough.
I'm tired of people asking me how things are going, when most really don't want to know the truth about how things are going..
I'm tired of giving rehearsed responses to rehearsed questions.
I'm tired of being in a bad mood.
I'm tired of snapping at my wife, when it's not her fault.
I'm tired of being expected to give when I have nothing left.
I'm tired of trying to lead when I don't know where I'm going.
I'm tired of not living up to other's expectations.
I'm tired of not living up to my own expectations.
I'm tired of sowing and no reaping.

I'm tired. 
Period. 
Maybe I need a nap.
If I could just find a juniper tree... 

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